apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
