I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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