HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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