You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
