Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
