He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
