i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
