Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
