**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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