We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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