I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
