I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
