im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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