So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
