week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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