I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
