im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
