respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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