I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
