you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
