your parents love me but you hate me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Found your dick twin last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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