Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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