is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sobbing to NWA
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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