And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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