Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
