I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
