wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
