I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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