those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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