He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
