We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
