I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
