So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
