i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
