So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
