i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
