He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
