is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
