So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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