When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
These tits shall not be calmed
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
