I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
