No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
