She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
