How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
