Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
