I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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