Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
