just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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