i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
