Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
