I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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