Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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