these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
