he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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